Memories to Withhold
by Renolover455
Summary: His chest ached at the thought that there was one other person missing. A certain sandy- haired, hot-tempered blonde. Rated T just in case.


**So this is just a random idea that popped into my head…**

**First I was reading this one book called _1984_, (I'm barely starting it so I can't really say if it's a good read or not).**

**And then this whole plot line just popped up into my head which didn't allow me to concentrate on my book anymore. **

**So I cranked up my computer and got my trusty sidekick: ManBat. (My USB)**

**Hehehe so I hope you like…I recently started reading about this pairing which I deeply fell in love with, but dammit! There needs to be more!**

**Oh and before I forget (because I know I will) Kingdom Hearts and its characters does not belong to me…**

**No matter how much I wish it did, copyrights,lawsuits,a shitload of money,and many other things stand in my way…**

**I wrote this while listening to Unintended by Muse…such a beautiful song *sniffles***

* * *

He could not remember how, or when, he started drinking. At first, he hated it; it left a bitter taste in his mouth and burned his throat whenever it trickled down his esophagus. Not to mention the head-splitting hangover and upset stomach that came the next day.

But practice made perfect didn't it?

He had done it for so long that he started to welcome the numbness that came with it. It helped him forget, even for just a while.

"Depressed." He glanced at his stoic, female friend.

"Think so?" He raised an eyebrow at her and waited for her answer. Non-surprisingly to him, all he received was a meaningful look. It had been so long since he tried to contradict her, and if his actions gave any indication, the silver haired girl always turned out to be right.

"Go." Not needing to be told twice he stood up from the couch and made his way to the door, grabbing his keys and yelling out 'close the door when you leave' before he left his apartment. He snorted at the irony of it all; he got kicked out of his own house.

He supposed it was all right; he was turning into a total hermit ever since...well, ever since _that night_ and the day that followed it.

He didn't get to drink much, so it was a good thing he was not staggering all over the sidewalk. That kind of thing would not do good to his reputation. He walked at a deliberate pace, fixing his favorite beanie over his head whenever it felt out of place while also playing with the keys in his pocket with his other hand, and all the while wondering how it was that he ended in this kind of predicament.

The sound of laughter had him directing his gaze to a group of teens, all of them a bit too familiar. It was those lamers: the menopausal blue-eyed blondie, the goody two-shoes brunette and only female in the group, and the tubby chocolate -haired one that thought about nothing but food.

His chest ached at the thought that there was one other person missing.

A certain sandy- haired, hot-tempered blonde.

Without giving them a second glance, he passed them by. They meant nothing to him, the only person that did was long gone.

He stopped by his turf, the Sandlot as everyone dubbed it, and rested his rump by a nearby tree. There was much to think about, thoughts that he could not sort out or did not want to bother with. He peered out into the vast expanse of space before him; apart from him and the trees, it was the only other witness at the scene of the crime.

_The sun had set, and the momentary dusk had overtaken the sky. He was at his usual position, against the tree and on his rump; with his favorite beanie over his eyes as if it would help him sleep better. It had been a rather entertaining evening, thanks to the chickenwuss who provided some of that entertainment. Both Rai and Fuu had taken off, Rai muttering something about starving like an animal while Fuu just looked on with her usual stoic expression, and left the floor-length white coat clad boy on his own. For a moment he actually wondered where Vivi, the other member of their group, was but as quick as the thought had come, it went away just as quickly._

_After all, it wasn't like he was the kid's damn mother. _

_The chicken- wuss and his posse had passed through the sandlot earlier, on their way to get some ice cream no doubt, and it presented a good chance for the older beanie-wearing boy to annoy the hell out of him just because he could. It all ended with the usual scene. _

_He taunted them, and when the chicken-wuss's self-control had vanished, they both started arguing and spilling insults at each other. When fighting with words didn't turn out to be enough, both blondes resorted to punches and kicks._

_One of them ended up with a sprained ankle and a bleeding nose, while the other ended up with a black eye and with several bruises already forming along his jaw and cheek. _

_The chicken-wuss's lamer friends dragged him away, the brunette nursing his bleeding nose while the tubby one supported his weight. Seifer laughed it off with Rai,who was the only one probably as sadistic as him, while Fuu and Vivi just stared on after the retreating gang. _

_He tried to be cool about it, but deep down he was fretting._

_A few hours had passed, and for a moment he felt lonely until he saw the chicken-wuss pass by his turf. He was alone, no doubt going home, with a dejected kind of look on his face that in Seifer's opinion did not belong there._

_All he had to do was ask._

"_Why the sad face chicken-wuss? Got rejected by Oleet again?"_

_He knew he hit a nerve when he saw the sandy-haired blonde stop dead in his tracks and bristle at him. _

"_Her name's Olette, and no I'm not sad 'cause of that." _

_Okay, so maybe it wasn't the best way to word it out. He stood up and dusted himself off, all the while walking a few steps forward to get closer to the younger boy. _

"_Then why the long face?" he tried again. _

"_Who the fuck said I was sad?" The teen's face had flushed from anger. _

"_Your eyes say it all," replied the taller blonde._

_At that moment he could have slapped himself for saying something so stupid, and seeing the younger teen's surprised look only intensified the urge to do it. It was not his habit to say stuff like that, hell, it wasn't in his nature. _

"_Uh…I guess." He let out a relieved sigh when he felt none of the previous hostility present in the sandy-haired blonde's voice. If anything, he sounded more confused than angry. _

"_Well then? If it wasn't Oleet that made you cry, then what was it?" He had a knack for being an idiot, and he knew it. He still pushed at the younger teen's buttons when it could have been easier to outright ask and show that he really was sincere. But for someone rough and arrogant like himself, it was quite a hard feat. _

_The shorter one scowled at him in response and began to walk away. It seemed that his ankle already felt better. _

"_You little shit, don't walk away when I'm talking to you." He grabbed the boy from the back of his shirt and yanked him hard to prove his point. _

"_Fuck off Almasy, I don't have time for your shit!" said the boy._

_The older blonde snorted at his remark. "It's not like you actually have something important to do."_

"_I gotta go pack!"_

_-Pack?-_

"_What?"_

"_Pack, I gotta go pack. Today was my last day hanging out with my friends and tomorrow I'm going to be leaving." _

_He could feel it all: The huge lump in his throat that made it hard to swallow and to speak any coherent words, the small ache in his chest that made it painful to breathe, and the incoming of a blank mind that almost left him gaping like a fish. _

"_Where?" he croaked out. _

"_Away," simply said the shorter blonde._

"_How long?" he asked quietly. A part of him did not want to know, but the other just had to. _

"_I don't know, forever?" _

_That was something he did not want to hear. Forever? Did that mean that all the time he had spent to accumulate the courage that he needed to confess the truth to him someday was in vain? Or the contentment of just having him nearby, even if it was just to fight with him, would be stripped from him so cruelly?_

"_So yea, it was nice knowing you…no matter how much of a bitch you were." He heard the smaller blonde say. _

_-Can't you stay longer?-_

"_It kinda sucks that we never got to be friends at least," continued the younger one. _

_-I never wanted to be just your friend.- _

_He still had a firm grip on the boy's shirt. "How about a last fight? For old time's sake, eh chickenwuss?" _

_His rival slapped his hand away and stepped away. "The fuck man, I don't have time for-"_

"_I guess you'll always be a chickenwuss," he said with a smirk._

_None too suddenly, the younger boy angrily swung at him initially aiming for his face. The taller blonde easily caught it, and in less than a second he had the younger boy under him. They struggled for a while, the smaller blonde trying to gain the upper hand while the other restrained him in place. _

"_Were you always this weak?" It wasn't an intended insult, but more like genuine curiosity. _

"_Shut up Almasy,"snapped the boy. _

_It took him a while to process the circumstance he was in. He had him, the one boy that could make him feel so alive; he had him in his hold. He was so lost in thought that he did not notice he had given the younger blonde the element of surprise. The boy swung at his face, making him topple to the side, and making him end up as the one being pinned down. _

"_Who's the chickenwuss now?"said the new victor mockingly._

_He scowled up at him half-heartedly. He was well aware of the fact that he was enjoying this position a little too much. Having him on top, with those camo-clad legs straddling his waist, and with the boy's face just a few inches away from his own, all of it was his undoing. At this point, all coherent thoughts left his mind. He was not thinking straight, especially when he grabbed the boy's wrists to prevent him from getting up or when he yanked him down to mash their lips together. _

_He supposed it was a natural reaction for the younger boy to start thrashing at him and to try to get away. Seifer let go of his wrists only to wrap his strong arms around the boy to take away any opportunity of escaping._

"_Sto- stop Asshole! stop it! I'm… mmf." _

"_Hayner." That simple word had the younger boy stilling his movements. He hardly ever said his name, so he knew that if anything, the boy should be feeling a bit surprised right now. _

He didn't remember how exactly it was that the boy got away, but he remembered the immense regret he felt when he let him go. The boy,Hayner, left the next day. He must have left at the crack of dawn, because when Seifer passed by his apartment building the next morning, all he found was the dreaded 'For Rent' sign on the window.

It hurt to think about it.

All he had in his memory were the vicious fights, the rivalry, the omnipresent tension,

The golden- brown eyes that lit up with anger and determination whenever his masculinity was called to question,

The doubt of whether his feelings were ever returned,

The feel of slightly chapped lips against his own even if it was for just the briefest moment,

And most of all, the rhythm of the boy's heart that beat in sync with his own.

He let himself fall on his back, sharp blue eyes meeting with a similarly colored sky. Fair colored eyelids drooped over the blue orbs as if to help them find their long awaited rest. Only one thought crossed the scarred blonde's mind as he let his mind fall into oblivion.

_Hayner_


End file.
